What I hear you saying is...

Weird article today in the NYT about Tan Chade-Meng -- an engineer at GOOG that gets his photos taken with every luminary, dignitary, and mercenary that darkens the door of building 43.

What's weird isn't the fact that he gets his pic taken with the likes of Madeline Albright and Muhammed Ali -- What's weird is that these celebs are visiting in the first place. Why is Robin Williams, for instance, schlepping down the peninsula from the confines of his Sea Cliff manor to greet the geek factory? Could it be for the schwag, Mars?

Apple seems to be the only other company that I can think of that gets even a shred of this celebrity cachet, and even that blurs the lines between genuine star interest and the late 90's "Think Different" ad campaign in which Ghandi and MLK held hands while snarfing black & white cheeseburgers at the cafeteria at Infinite Loop. (and by "shred" I mean Bono and Al Gore. Meh.)

Nope. Nobody holds a candle to Sergei and Larry these days.

Maybe it's because GOOG is such an anomaly, even outside the tech space. Each time I've been there, my experience seems to parody itself. Each time I say to my friends that work there, "It can't get any better/weirder than this" but somehow it does. It is so over the top with the gourmet food and espresso stands in every cubicle -- the 'endless' pool in the middle of the quad (always empty) -- and the hardware kiosks where you can just flash your badge and walk away with a Cisco router under each arm.

How do they do it? How do they live up to the hyperbole? Every employee looking so satisfied and earnest? What could possibly be the secret?

I'll tell you what it is. The secret is this.

1995 i had a rollerderm in my eye with hackers

it became national and thats when i had to be stoped cause it was put in illegaly.

1998 i had an extrordenary expeareance

i received world vision people all over the world see what i see.

ive been shot 8 times with a gun like a vampire it does not penatrate my body.

after the v.t. murders i got stabed and no knife womb there are many other storys.

i recently had a cort trial when a s.c.statetrooper shot me he didnt show up for the cort trial an imposter claming to be him there were 3 different video tapes and the jury found me

guilty

i went to the pin even with the cam in my eye. and now i believe these people are selling my rollerderm footage.

and i was attacked by a stealth bomber.

i think the whole world wood apriciate an interveiw

I was dismayed to find nary a sample -- not even the dried-out cotswolds or colbys they usually stash around the perimeter. But in lieu of the freebies, my eyes drifted across the high-end case, where only the most rarefied breeds reside. Amongst the truffle infusions and leaf wrapped delicacies, I spied a new blue varietal that I had never seen before: Gorgonzola Cremificato.

Cremificato.

The name rolls off the tongue like a Harry Potter spell.

Expeliarmus.

Rather than the stiffer, blockier blues, Cremificato is a gooey mess that must be scooped and scraped from inside a kindling frame that acts as an ersatz exoskeleton for the non-wheel..

Expecto Patronum

Needless to say I was smitten, as the cheese wench dredged up a meaty ladleful, and doubly so when I learned that it was only $15 a pound (using Reggiano as a rule, a reasonable sum for superior cheese).

The next item was to find something nice to pair it with...

Accio anderson valley pinot noir

We grabbed a loaf of the La Brea three cheese semolina bread, and dashed home to sample our new found treasure. The cremificato did not disappoint. It holds up to a mild triple-cream in texture and spreadability,while the flavor is piquant without getting spicy. If you are put-off by headier roqueforts or stilton, this might change your mind about blue cheeses.

In short, it's one of the best cheeses I've had in a very long time, and is definitely going on my list of repeat buys from Whole Paycheck Foods.

Purchasis futuro

Are all the good start-up names really taken? I guess they must be -- otherwise the folks at mobile start-up "Yuuquu" would never have allowed them selves to be called...Yuuquu.

How is this even pronounced? What does the name mean, really? In lieu of meaning, what images or associations does the name evoke? How does the logo enhance this branding? In short, they seem to have violated every conceivable tenet of good branding.

Maybe this is their strategy? Or maybe... they are planning to launch in Burma:

In any case, it's a complete charlie-foxtrot.

UPDATE:
Per Edubya's comments:

1. Mozza
2. Mozza
3. Mozza
4. Mozza
5. Mozza
6. Mozza
7. Mozza
8. Mozza
9. Mozza
10. Mozza

How good is this place? For starters, their Caprese salad -- something I would normally avoid as pedestrian on an Italian menu -- was so over the top with roasted tomatoes (still on vine) atop a mountain of barata burrata mozzarella drizzled with pesto and olive oil that I am still dreaming about it. (note to self: waaaay to rich for one - next time share an order).

The Pizza? Probably the best I've had outside Italy, and honestly better than a lot I had there, too. The crust -- a thin, quasi-neopolitan style concoction -- has this mochi-like chewiness that I could not resist. My 'meat-lovers' was all that and more. Jsu had even more barata burrata ( ! ) on hers, and then CST had the sausage/fennel combo. We each split 'em up and shared slices - all fantastic.

Even the wine list was a surprise - with a ton of odd varietals I'd never heard of, and completely eschewing the triumvirate of Chianti, Barolo, and Barbaresco that are the mainstays of most Italian joints. To be honest, I can't now even remember what we drank -- only that it was recommended, and was great. Trust your server~

Unbelievably, we still had some space after dinner, and so JSu pointed us to my 11th favorite thing about LA:

11. Pink Berry

Mozza, on the other hand, I'm afraid may remain solely an LA institution. Which means I'm going to have to figure out how to get down there more often...